Is There a Version That Comes with Motivation…?
Originally published in german, Nov. 10th, 2024
“You just have to get up one more time than life knocks you down!” Yet another generic fortune-cookie slogan—one of those sayings that seems to fit almost any situation while somehow remaining strangely hollow. After all, we haven’t even defined what it actually means to be “knocked down,” let alone what it means to “get back up.” Granted, it’s probably obvious that this isn’t meant literally, because in some of the situations where life knocks you down, you may indeed need an ambulance.
But let’s stick with those two concepts for a moment. It quickly becomes clear that being knocked down is really a metaphor for failing in our actions—failure that dampens our momentum and slows our progress. So what, then, does getting back up mean? I’d argue that it lies in the lessons we draw from those experiences and apply to what we do next.
But where does the motivation to continue come from if our expectation of self-efficacy has just been shattered? We’ve just screwed something up, and chances are we already know it. Yet instead of briefly reflecting on how to do better next time, we all too often have a tendency to dramatize these situations far beyond what they deserve.
Yesterday I wrote about failure, and I genuinely try to live with these inevitable incidents of existence the way I described them: as partial failures on the path forward that come with built-in opportunities for growth. If that’s true, then failure usually doesn’t have to be a major drama. Yes, there are situations that feel like the proverbial Walk to Canossa. But I’m not a king, and very few of my problems have anything to do with popes. We simply make life much harder for ourselves than it needs to be, and in doing so we end up hurting ourselves by turning every molehill into a mountain.
Wouldn’t it be better to occasionally let things be, take some of the pressure off, and give ourselves—and the situation—the time and space to develop?
I’m certainly not advocating indolence. My life, my work, and everything that comes with them are far too important to me for that. But especially in my professional life, I’ve met far too many people who react so defensively to objective criticism that any meaningful discussion about the actual issue becomes impossible. They cannot—or perhaps do not want to—distinguish between having a specific action criticized and having their personality criticized. Those are two very different things.
Part of the reason lies in the mechanism I described yesterday. But another major factor is the rather unfortunate incentive and reward systems that exist in many workplaces, including my own.
It is useful to distinguish between three kinds of behavior:
a) Risk-averse behavior, which should be encouraged because it reduces the probability of mistakes. It doesn’t eliminate them—but it does reduce them.
b) Risk-affine behavior, which should prompt a discussion about behavioral adjustments. This is often where a lack of problem awareness becomes visible, something that can usually be improved through education and training.
c) Reckless behavior, which deserves immediate consequences. Whether additional training still has any realistic chance of success is something that has to be decided on a case-by-case basis.
Most of us, by the way, move back and forth between the first two categories. Mistakes still happen every single day.
Whether I’m motivated to admit my own mistakes and learn from them, however, is inversely proportional to the likelihood of being metaphorically stripped naked, tied to a three-meter pole in front of company headquarters, and publicly whipped for reporting an error. A workplace where that likelihood is extremely low is what we usually call a healthy error culture. Once again, this is where the difference between a boss and a leader becomes obvious.
Motivation usually arises when we can associate the outcomes of our own actions with positive experiences. I mentioned self-efficacy earlier. It simply feels great to nail what you’re trying to do. Naturally, it doesn’t feel nearly as good when you mess it up.
The real art lies in helping people take something valuable away from their failures anyway. That’s what keeps them from walking away—and what allows us to grow together. In that context, it’s incredibly important for anyone in a leadership or teaching role to remain approachable—that is, to remain human. Own your own mistakes and lead by example. Describe and evaluate the consequences of mistakes as objectively as possible.
Most of the time, there is no need for drama. Perhaps there should be a joint effort to understand what went wrong so it can be prevented in the future—but punishment is rarely the answer. Punishment pushes people away, even when they’re exactly the people you need most.
But as I said yesterday, we still have a long road ahead before a truly healthy culture of learning from mistakes becomes the norm.
With that in mind, I wish you all a great start to the new week.